Evaluate Your Life

Evaluate Your Life Day

I think today should come with options: evaluate your life or eat another chocolate cupcake.

Yes, that is a wee Princess Aurora you see. The tragic truth is that I still look like that more often than I care to admit. It's not as cute when you're 23.

I seem to have been gearing up for Evaluate Your Life Day all weekend, as is often the case with me. Here's my experience:

#1 - Assess Your Insanity

I've developed a rather ridiculous stress habit this semester: I pull my hair out. I'm not even kidding. I will sit and tug at the ends of my hair, and all the brittle strands will break off. So this weekend I went home to see my mama and her scissors. We cut off just a little bit. Now I have soft ends and a fresh start. It feels wonderful. I'm quitting cold turkey.

#2 - Examine Where You Came From

I brought an old photo album home with me. For some reason I don't remember looking through this particular album much. I don't remember a lot of the photos. But I've been looking through it and just feeling really moved by all the love in these pictures.

I often think about my Nana. If there's one area in my life where I've felt totally jipped, it's in the fact that I never had the chance to know her. It's funny how you can feel so drawn to someone you don't even remember.

#3 - Fail So You Can Succeed

I skipped all my classes today. I utterly failed. Then I made some decisions. I'm going to take the novel I'm 135 pages behind in and set it aside. It's the 1 book that will not be followed by a test. I'm not going to finish it. Prioritize.

I feel in my life lately that everything I do falls short somehow. I can't pinpoint the reason. I'm not awake enough. I'm not alive enough. My heart's not big enough. No matter how much effort I put forth, it's insufficient. No matter what words I say to a friend, they're inadequate.

I think sometimes you have to choose some things to fail at so you have a chance to do something beautiful with the rest.

I was walking home today and staring at the pavement. Suddenly it occurred to me that there were little fall leaves all over the ground and all the trees were yellow. I hadn't even noticed. I started thinking to myself how I'd love to stand there as the leaves fell and let them swirl around me. Just to be lost in them like an autumn snowstorm.

My little fantasy was interrupted when I was pelted in the face with a leaf. Who knew a tree could hit so hard? Pay attention, it said. The beauty of autumn is now.

~Princess Aurora